I am a hypnotist, teacher and hobbiest audio engineer who lives in Perth Australia. My interests include but are not limited to, music, CB Radio, hypnotism, teaching, chatting, IT and networking, VOIP pabx technology and meditation.
Here I am posting to my jurnal new year’s day 2005. How does 2005 feel? Well
apart from the slightly longer finger stretch for the 5 on the number row
not different at all. I’m a little older and possibly a little wiser; then
again possibly not.
It’s warm today haven’t heard a weather report so not sure if we hit 33 or
not but the humidity feels at about 60% so it’s a little muggy.
We bought a new printer yesterday a Cannon IP3000 it prints photos nicely
and does a good job at plain paper printing much better than the I250. It’s
a lot heavier too so either they put a brick or two in it or there are more
The last 2 days have been fun; forgot to get her medication
so although most of the days were good there were 10 minute periods of
slight craziness. I almost got into a yelling match with her over things too
stupid to even remember but we made up and got on with our day. It never
ceases to amaze me how much we depend on other people and how it’s just you
and the other in your house and if either of you don’t do something then it
damn well doesn’t get done. For that reason either of us just has to do
shit. that’s the way it is.
New year’s eve/night was good; although we had some not so good sex which
made me a little sad. Still; once in a blue moon it must happen to everyone
and when Gemma’s depression is on the rampage her interactions are strange
with anyone. I’m not complaining as such but it does help me to write about
it to get it out of my system.
Whether I suffer from depression or whether I am just a grumpy bastard
remains to be seen.
I spoke to Will new year’s eve and also caught up with elise and zoey. they
are all good.
Hit a brick wall trying to build mum’s machine. I was trying to build her a
Celeron 433 with 256megs of ram but the board runs as slow as a wet week
even with 7200rpm drives in it. Looks like she might need to get something
new I would reckn. I really don’t like trying to build computers from
halfway across the country I find the support problems are infinitely
I’m not sure how awake I am given the fact that I have spent 1.5hr asleep
this afternoon after getting up at 10am. We had to get up early to get ‘s medication and we got chicken treat. that was nice actually
although I am getting sick of take away.
I’m feeling a bit flat today not sure what jobs to do in what order. I have
a pile of backing up to do which I really must get started on.
I really want a disk array and some Ups’s and and and well lots of things.
that’s enough for now will write more later.
Ah I like this feature. I can edit up a post in my email client either mutt
or lookout distress and post my entries without submitting to a web form.
This is a short post to test functionality before I write a longer post for
Not a lot to write today. The day was fairly productive. I re-calibrated the drives in the windows box for Exact Audio copy and found you can’t burn a cd with eac on a pioneer. damn damn damn. The dvd-rom comes out and I put a cdrom in. Means I read dvds in the burner but burners are cheap so no harm done. Was waiting for post to arrive that didn’t so we’re still waiting for it. I don’t like staying home waiting for freight but that seems to be a part of my life at the moment. Gemma and I got a new Philips Stereo today which sounds a lot better than the last one which we will be giving to Tibiania who won’t notice the lack of top end one would hope. If she does it can go in the bin. Called my brother to wish him happy birthday as it is his birthday. Spoke to Will and a new guy called Mark about upses and battery backup for the computers. Combined with a surge protector and an ups these computers will be a lot safer from power spikes. The power over here is filthy. Spent a happy day with Gemma today after an initial upset about me taking the piss (which I was) so I backed off a bit. We tried some permutations on the laptop saga but magic still crashes. Looks like we email support I guess. Have to get up earlier tomorrow morning as our water is out from 10 till 2 but that is ok. Must remember to invoice LIS for the work I have done this month. also have some servers to situate on my shelving and a switch to cable in. fun fun fun. If all goes well I can bring all my computers up at once if ever that is necessary. Perhaps only for network stress testing. Got Pam’s computer backed up onto 3 cds and am getting ready to reinstall it tomorrow. Nothing should be too exciting I hope but if problems arise we’ll solve them I am sure. Watched an episode of voyager today which I had seen before so I could tell Gemma what was happening. Caught up with aaron and Andrew Hart on skype which was also cool. Still agonizing whether to buy talx or mobilespeak. mmmmm can’t decide. Hoping to get more done tomorrow to reduce the job queue. No rest for the wicked I guess. Write more tomorrow. Still no sign of my LJ code hope it turns up.
Ah well here I am posting again and this time I am a lot happier. Gemma and I sorted our differences well at least we sorted the ones that upset me so much the other day. The fact that she looses perspective sometimes upsets me a lot and I find it hard to deal with. We had lunch today with Gemma’s parents. We made them hot dogs and chips which they enjoyed. I was busting to tell Colin what I got him for christmas but just managed to hold back. It’s bloody hot at the moment and I can’t sleep. this is not useful at all because I will screw my sleeping patterns again. Knew I shouldn’t have gone to sleep this afternoon for 2 hours but you live and learn. We had Crypticgirl and Chromatica well I can’t be bothered with that funky lj stuff just yet over for christmas dinner.
Chromatica cooked the chicken stir fry which rocked. Basically we pointed him at the kitchen and wock and said “make dinner.” he didn’t make a mess; put everything back where it belonged and made a damn nice stir fry into the bargin. Nice to have a sighted person who doesn’t fuck up the layout of your kitchen. woo hoo.
We all did a lot of talking and tibiania came over. She was complaining about her interactions with her family. one dad she will realize that her father stirs for a reaction and she can either just laugh or ignore him. He just wants a reaction. If she complains and wobbles he has won. If she yells at him he has won. If she sulks he has won. You just react to him and get on with your life. Eva was beeing teenaged and batable; (we went over to 7 for afternoon visit) so that was fun. We gave Chris a fishtank (usb with plastic fish) which he reckned was cool and tacky. I got no Christmas presents which was ok. I did get a bag of lollies and $50 from Gemma’s parents. We gave them spare cleaning supplies. not at all exciting but they will find them useful. we’re off to adultshop sometime this week or next to buy a couple of items that I can use with my darling. I’m looking forward to widening our sexual horizons if possible and having a lot more fun. I went through a phase where I was heavily into b&d s&m stuff and sometimes I want to relive a little of that from time to time.
Tying a girl up and having your way with them (making sure they are willing of course) is high on my fun things to do list.
I allways had a fantasy of having a girl with long hair; I doubt that will ever happen since ghoath keeps her hair cut short for maintainance reasons. It was nice and long before the wedding and it was fun to run my fingers through.
I sometimes think about going back to the b&d s&m social gatherings but most people there are really strange. So many people can’t be into s&m stuff without going a little loopy in the head.
I find that insanity hard to deal with at times since some of the people are quite flawed.
Had another chat with ghoath about my prepensity to flert. I’m making mountains out of molehills again it seems. Just because I make women smile isn’t something to worry about at least as far as she is concerned. Still; I have more freedom in this marridge then I ever thought possible. If I got drunk at a party and got with some girl it’s nice to know we could talk about it and more than likely move on with our lives.
got to fix a computer for ghoath’s parents. basically a backup and textbook re-install with some wireless drivers. When I was younger I used to dream of swapping technical work on computers for sex with cute girls; (don’t most techs I guess?) I must say that nowadays the money is more useful and most of the cute girls are married
I think I have had enough rambling for the moment so I might go and wash my feet to cool off and see how tired I feel. I’m feeling a lot more possitive about my maridge.
even if things wibble a bit; I firmly believe I’ve chosen the right girl and I know she loves me. It makes life so much easier.
till next time.
Here I am posting in my live journal. Why is it that whenever I get to writing in these things life is in termoil? It’s christmas or coming up on it real fast and I don’t know how I should be feeling. things between Gemma and I are far from stable. When your wife doesn’t know why she married you after a year or even why she has been with you for 4 you tend to wonder a little. People tell me I’m hard to live with. That’s most definitely true. I try my best but I don’t allways succeed. Everything feels so tenuous today; i’m devistated but I can’t cry. I want to try to make things better or at least more stable but I don’t know how. I want to be as happy as I can be but I don’t know how to make the people around me feel happier. I feel so low and sad sacky at the moment and I don’t know what to do to cheer up. The irrational part of me wants to go out and get drunk; have sex with strange women (safely of course) and be irrisponsible. Problem is I can’t drink to forget; my memory is too good. I can’t make my memory bad or I don’t work. If I don’t work I don’t eat. I love my wife so much; it makes me cry to think of loosing her; and heaven knows I don’t want to short out this keyboard. I guess it is good beeing blind becuase I can cry and type at the same time. I suppose that’s something to be positive about. I know my problems are my own and I must solve them; after all we are all in that boat. I suppose I should be cheerful about the things I do for others; my skills and my achievements. right now; that’s no comfort. I could write pages on why I love Gemma; but she knows most of it I would think; and so do most of my friends. I can’t express how much better Gemma has made my life; both materially (reading a tv dinner or a packet of chips) and emotionally. She’s sleeping right now and I dare not wake her. I know there are things to do but I don’t know what order to do them in or where to start. I can’t work on computers right now; I can’t think straight. In some ways I think I am too lucky; and so unlucky in others. I wish I was the type to hide from the world; but I know the world will be waiting for me when I come out. Why do I have to be so damn responsible and analytical? I think i’ll stop writing before you all stop reading. I am sure future posts will be happier; these things happen. I hope to write more positively in this journal soon. I’m looking forward to my paid account; I almost bought one today except friends are giving me one for christmas I believe. I allways seem to want to spend more when I am depressed which some people might think is not possible if they know me. Wonder how the picture looks? don’t think I can be bothered spell checking these entries; since my brain does not have an internal spellcheck. One day I might understand why Gemma rarely makes me angry. Is this love or stupidity or both or neither? I don’t know.